Kids Say...

I have been writing these down in my book, but not getting to post them on the blog so there's a lot of them this time!

I knew I was raising boys, but being the only woman in a house full of xy chromosomes has its ... repugnant moments:  Sitting at breakfast one morning Seamus started screaming.  Derek was sitting beside him and gently and quietly assessed the situation, put his finger on one of Seamus's nostrils and said, "Blow".  Seamus promptly blew a cheerio out of his open nostril, picked it up, and ate it.

(sliding off the tall bed without help and talking to nobody in particular) I wasn't very scared, it's good to try new things. -S

I'm not practicing, I just like playing piano! -L

You shouldn't put almonds in your nose. -me

If you have working paper, you can make pirate ships! (construction paper) -L

Thanks for getting that booger off me. -S

Crapulation....seriously?! -L
No, crapul-ENCE. -D
For real, it's in the dictionary! -D

Gwammy and Gwampa are my best friends. -S

I climbed on the most gripful rocks. -L

Chipewayans are like dinosaurs and they have guns. -S
No, they have bows and arrows. -L
Right.  Chipewayans have bones and arrows. -S
(while reading Two Against the North)

You're sad now that I'm big. -S

The quarter is magneting to here! -:L

My birdhouse is gonna catch an eagle. -S

I'm the rotten egg!!!! (grinning and shouting) -S

The boys took off running and Seamus shouted, "I'm fast!"  Luke quickly pulled ahead and Seamus shouted just as joyfully, "I'm slow!"

My penis is a tall building. -S
What kind of building? -me
A business. -S
(eyebrows raised) It's his BIZ-ness. -Grampa

My wound is like the one Westley got from the Rodent: both on our left arms. Only his was from a rodent and mine was from the road. -L
Yours is a ROAD-DENT -D
Did you dent the road, or did the road dent you? -me
(we got a lot of mileage out of this one...pun intended)

Happy Easter egg hunt Mom! -S

I already went poop, Mom -S
When? -me
Sixteen pounds ago. -S

Easter is all about candy...and Jesus. -L

Barenaked Ladies and London Bridge are my favorite songs. -S

Why do Stanley and Luke get to sit by their chuthers? -S

I have most of my gummi bears 'cuz I suck. -L

I'm on my balance Mom! -S

(after lunch) Can you hose me up, Auntie Lissa Bergen? -S

 (after spinning) The house feels turning. -S

I cut my shirt with scissors so we should hammer some tape on it. -S

There's a Charlotte's Web interview! (preview) -L

Can I go tank-topping? -S

Seamus!  Don't cut Mommy's head off!  Just zing or cut her. -L

Mom! Pretend that I'm your son and that water is fire. -L

Benjamin's poop is yellow because he was out in the sun too long. -S

"We're Kid-Jag-lars"

Matching hoodies made with love by Grandma Helene.

Dress-up

Luke says, "You look like a boy dressed up to pretend he's a cowboy, Seamus.  I look like a real live explorer."

The fewest parades

Typically the third, fourth, fifth child in a family gets the fewest parades.  Benjamin is no exception.  I haven't taken nearly as many photos of him as of the other two.  I haven't spent nearly as much money on new toys, clothes, gadgets for Benjamin.  I haven't blogged adoringly about his facial expressions, the smell of his breastfed poopy diapers, or the nightly terror I have of being woken by a crying baby who can't breathe through his nose (he's got a cold right now...it's exhausting for everyone).  All those little details of his babyhood aren't being forgotten though.  And Benjamin is not being neglected.

Every day Luke and Seamus take turns holding Benjamin.  A few days ago Luke admitted to me that he loves Benjamin better than he loves Seamus.  "I love him more because he's newer.  And because he lets me hold him.  Someday I will carry him around like you do."  Today Luke decided he was strong enough to pick the baby up and stood beside the couch picking Benjamin up and putting him down, picking him up and putting him down, for a full ten minutes.  Later in the day I came in from the neighbor's house and Luke came leaping up to me grinning and shouting, "Benjamin spit up on me for the very first time!  All over me!  I'm not even lying!" 

I have also felt protective of my time with Benjamin.  I don't resent waking up nights with him at all because I get him all to myself in the middle of the night.  In the afternoon, during quiet time, I often skip a nap in favor of snuggling with the sleeping baby - what sane person with three kids, one of them a newborn, skips a nap?!  I've even taken to sharing my special alone time in the shower with the wee one, just to be skin to skin with the warm little bundle.

Derek and Luke nearly arm wrestled to decide who would feed Benjamin a bottle the other night, and Seamus is constantly stroking Benjamin's head and whispering things like, "You're a sweetheart Benjamin Harvey", in his ear.  We often find jam or chocolate or bread crumbs on Benjamin's head because Seamus just can't keep his hands off Benji's soft little noggin.  The first thing Seamus says to me in the morning is, "You're a good girl, Mom. But Benjamin's a good boy and you're not a boy but I'm a boy and Luke's a boy and Daddy's a boy, but you're a girl and Benjamin Harvey is a boy like me."  Luke refused to go to church last week without Benjamin.  "I want to have him with me at church.  I want everyone to know he's my new brother!"

Benjamin may not be getting a parade with a full marching band and majorettes.  But he's got his own little fan club, and we play kazoos that rock the casbah.

Kids say...

 

It was 45 F yesterday, so we had to take advantage of it and play outside!

making volcanoes!

One of my favorite corners of my home:  Plain Ol' Grammy, tiny vases from POG, a bird from Kathy, a vase from Amanda, and lego wheels...framing my favorite view: boys outside.

Seamus:

My dice are running down the hallway, and so am I!

Can I have more smarsh-mallows?

I don't want to go to bed, I just want to sleep in my bed.

(after being scolded) You're so pretty, Mommy....just SO pretty.

In six days, when the baby comes, he's going to be so key-ute.


Luke: 

I called Dad so loud that he could hear me as clear as morning!

(crying) You ALWAYS make me learn things!

I found out I liked those carrots in my chewing process.

There was an excess of apples.  So I ate them.

Mom!!  My brother is doing stuff he shouldn't be doing....like eating stuff!

Luke Says, Seamus Says.

 We have a guest for a few days: J'Mark!  He's a really popular guy in our house because he does excellent animal imitations, plays rock, paper, scissors indefinitely, reads books with all the voices, and tosses giggling little boys up in the air, or holds them "up-see-down" (Seamus says) if they're really naughty.

My favorite part of having one of my favorite people in the whole world here for a few days (besides having an awesome role model of someone who helps clear the table after meals), was having an inspirational artist to teach Luke his art lesson this morning.  How special to get a lesson in drawing expressive forms and faces from J'Mark!!  Of course we ended up using a Ninja Turtle as a model...because it's John-Mark, after all.

I should note that this is a turtle John-Mark drew very simply so that Luke could follow his directions.

Seamus says

I like the dump-o-wings with sass-kup (translation:  I like the dumplings with ketchup).

Daddy drives his hat around on his truck (referring to the WBS decal).

We love one 'chother.

Let's read Cutie and the Beast!

You're so smart, Mom.  You're just a smart guy.

(to Elaine, at church)  You gotta take your sandal off and SMACK! the scorpions, okay?

Luke says

Finders keepers, losers leapers!

Our neighbor has orange hair with a crack in the middle.

me: Remind me to wash your jacket tonight, Luke.
L: Okay, but only if I remember.

J'Mark!  I'm dead!  Come check in my pockets to see if there's anything good.

Seamus Says. Luke Says.

(with incredulity, at an indoor pool) Hey Mom!  There are no dolphins in this pool!

You're a good boy, Mom.

S: Mom, Luke doesn't have a good idea.  I have a good idea.
me: What's your idea?
S: Oh!  I don't know!

(hugging my belly) Good night baby budder.  (And then to my breasts) And good night baby, good night baby.

me to Luke: It's okay, I understand.
S: Yeah, me too.  I dunder-band.

(While putting Seamus down for a nap downstairs and Luke upstairs.  Also, you should know that Luke's blanket has dachshunds on it)  I want Luke to sleep HERE, in his dog bed!

me: Don't rock my chair please, Seamus.
S:  BUT!  I LOVE you!

I don't like coffee like Seamus does.  But I'm gonna like it when I'm a teenager.

Should I swat my face?

(after I asked him to stop twisting his hair, and told him he would go bald if he didn't stop)  Mom, it's okay if I'm bald in the winter because my jacket has a furry hood!

Hey Mom!  Did you know I have such a BIG mouth?!

My job around the house is shooting rubberbands at bad guys.

(singing, I've got the moves like Jagger after jazz dance class) I've got the moves like ja-azz!

Dad!  Dad!  Dad!  Look Dad!  I can balance cheese on my head!
Derek: Yes!  You've got a bright future ahead of you.

Pot Heads

 Seamus says:

(holding out a pepperoni) Do you want my cucumbers?

(pointing to his chin) Mommy, will you wipe my feelings off?

Mom!  A beard is stuck in your marble!

(pointing to a freckle) You have a whistle.

I'm a good jobber eating my ice cream.

I am a-scused! (Can I please be excused?)

Fank-oo.  You're welcome.

(Luke is sobbing on the floor with his face in his hands because I said he couldn't have another cookie) What's yong?  Are you okay?  Is it your face?

(singing to himself) The itsy bitsy Spider Man went up the water spout.

July 8, 2013  Seamus pees on the toilet for the first time!

Luke says:

You know what, Dad?  A minute is an hour for an ant because they're so small.

Star Wars know the dark side of the forest.

(crying loudly in Wal-Mart) But Mom!!  My brother and I don't have any balls!

Mom, you know what I just did?  I backfired in that cup just now (back washed).

Wouldn't it be great if our whole upstairs was a tent and we were camping in it?  We could even sleep on the floor.

Peanut butter makes my breath stick together.  Like when I'm sick.

July 12, 2013  Luke washes dishes after dinner for the first time!

Sunday's Spontaneous Adventure

This morning I sat up in bed, saw the sun shining in my window, heard the boys chattering to one another in their beds, and asked Derek, "Isn't today a good day for an Adventure?"  Derek looked at me quizzically before answering, "What kind of adventure?"

I thought.  "Where could we drive that would, round-trip, take us all day with a getting out/swimming/lunch break in the middle?"  Derek seemed to be thinking, but was soon engrossed in his book again.  Taking his, perhaps unorthodox, cue, I sprang into action.

Forty-five minutes later, ice chest packed with lunches, kids dressed and fed, thermos of coffee stowed under the front seat, we drove off the driveway.  "Where are we going?" seemed to be the chief concern of passengers and driver alike, but as true adventurers we did not let this trivial question get in our way.  We were off!  We were under a blue sky, hitting the pavement - stopping for ice.  And then we were OFF!  On our way, wind in our hair - stopping for cash (boy scouts understand).  And then we were off.

Vaguely Northwest.

The backseat had its opinions to be sure.  Luke, being the loudest, began with protestations, "The pool where my swimming lessons are would be adventure enough".  Seamus, oh he made me proud, rejoined, "No!  We're on an aventoor!"  The first hour of our drive was full of back and forths regarding how much fun Adventures really are, and an almost endless stream of awestruck voices commenting on how yellow the canola is in this country ("But it's really so yellow in this country, it's like the whole country is yellow!!" -Luke).

This is Seamus's rocking out face.  He is chair dancing to Jack Johnson.

Luke loves his "J'mark hat", as it is affectionately called.

Pretty soon a destination made itself apparent.  According to Luke, we could not get to "Bruce Wood" fast enough.  We began following a somewhat questionable route set by google maps, and enjoyed all the gravel roads it sent us down immensely (backseat said, "Weeee!" hands raised in the air....no joke).  Our gravel road began to deteriorate, but we passed a reassuring road sign reading, "Spruce Woods Park Road", and continued on the now single lane rutted track.  We crossed a cattle guard.  We drove between a downed tree trunk that had been sawn to allow vehicles to pass through.  Adventure was inevitably at hand.

Luke asked, "What's that sound?"  Derek replied, "That is the sound of the grass verge rubbing the underside of the car", because that is what it was.  Luke asked, "What was that sound?"  Derek replied, "That is the sound of a branch scraping the window.  This is an Adventure!"  "I don't like Adventures," Luke confirmed.

Since we were on an Adventure there was no question of turning back.  Not when we crossed a second cattle guard.  Not when we had to drive up into the undergrowth to go around a large mud hole.  Not when we rather unexpectedly drove into a field full of bales of alfalfa.  Not just because at times the sand seemed so soft we were certain that to stop would mean to sink.  For close to an hour we carried on our Adventure with many musings from the backseat as to how one might, on an Adventure, die, get lost, or WORSE: never see a play structure again.

By now google maps and several Spruce Woods Park signs had confirmed we were deep within Spruce Woods, but with no visible sign of human life anywhere.  We passed a dilapidated and leaning farmhouse and it's outbuildings.  We passed an unmanned tractor.  As we skirted the alfalfa field (still following an obvious path, I will add), we saw what certainly meant the end of the line for this particular adventure: eight or ten lines of mowed hay neatly crossed our path and defied us to put our Uplander's name to the test.  No polite farm girl would drive across a line of mowed alfalfa.  Instead we stopped for lunch near the abandoned farmhouse and ate our picnic in absolute peaceful stillness...except for the insects.  Granted, we did them some damage too on our Adventure.

Where the forest opened up into the alfalfa field.

 After sustenance we were prepared to once again brave the several bogs and sandy trails to follow our tire tracks back the way we came.  Mr. UnAdventurous in the back seat applauded our decision.

We found our way to a highway, and to the main entrance of Spruce Woods Provincial Park, where we participated in what I now considered to be all the mundane activities of the "UnAdventurous".  I'll admit it, I was an Adventure snob.  I wondered, looking down my nose, if any of these people had found a hidden track through the forest.  The children splashed in the murky river, watched fish swim along the banks, met a stranger's puppy named Piper, and oohed and aahed over the stuffed timber wolves in the museum.  "This is the best part of the day, by far," said Luke enthusiastically as he pushed Seamus in his stroller over the bridge, up the hill and into the shop where we waited for ice cream.  I smiled.  "You are an excellent big brother, Luke."  "I know!  And I'm going to have two little brothers or a sister!" Luke said.  Not long after this Seamus dropped the top part of his ice cream cone in the dirt and Luke diverted a major tantrum by handing Seamus his own cone, saying, "It's okay, you can finish mine."  "Sanks, Yuke," Seamus whispered through his tears.  Okay, with these two boys along, I'm not sure anything can really be mundane.

After all that Adventuring we were tired.  So we hit the road again.  This time, home.  And now we are all sun-warmed, sleepy, and looking forward to our friendly pillows.  Spontaneous Adventures are satisfying.  We may have even convinced Luke.  But we all agree, after a day of Adventuring, an Adventurer wants a hot shower and a place to put his feet up.

Luke is Five

 
Five years ago today I went into the hospital to be induced.  I was telling people, "Today's the day I meet my baby!" And most of them were scoffing, "Not if your induction goes like mine!"  But mine went great.  My body was ready to have that baby and after only 11 hours of labor I was holding this eight and a half pound baby in my arms!  Five years later he is over forty pounds, can out-talk a used car salesman, and loves loves LOVES people.  This morning Luke crawled into my lap on the couch and snuggled up against me and said, "Thanks for singing me happy birthday mom. Only I wish you wouldn't sing about me being a monkey.  Sing the real one now, will you?"

 Luke says, "Now that Seamus is getting to be a real person, it is much easier to play with him!"

To celebrate our favorite five-year-old we had race track cake, played in the slip and slide with all three cousins (and gratefully watched that thunderhead go north of us!), and were generally pretty silly - mostly because Grammy and Grandpa are here from California, and wouldn't you know they brought disguises along with them!  When I asked Luke what it felt like to be five he said, "Well, it's pretty great most of the time, but not when you make me do things I never want to do like chores."  I'm glad you think life's great, Luke.  And someday you will appreciate the chores and the work ethic we're working hard to instill in you.  

But not today.  Today you're five.

Seamus Says: Luke Says

.......................Seamus Says....................

Seamus:  Do you be-member, Dad?
Derek: Remember what?
Seamus: Watching ga-CUB-buh-bos.
Derek:  Excuse me?
Luke: He says, "do you remember watching The Incredibles?", Dad.

I have a baby growing up with mine belly button.

You yuv you, Mommy.

You forgive you, Yuke.

You have stars in your ears, Mommy! (round diamond earrings)

Mine sandwich is a moon (holding up a crescent of crust).

(pulling weeds, Seamus finds a johnny-jump-up)  This one's my FAYbrit color!

Seamus: Are you comf'table, Mommy?
me: Yes.
Seamus:  Are you comf'table, now?
me: I am as comfortable as I can be.
Seamus: So...Luke's Batman, huh?

me:  You're so cute Seamus.
Seamus: Aww, you're so cute, too.

..........................Luke says...........................

(overheard in Sunday School)  That's just my Mom in the bathroom.  She's puking because she's pregnant, so it's okay.

This frisbee is like a shield without a handle and I've been looking for a shield my whole life!

When I get to the fairy tree in California I am going to ask for a Hercules costume, and a sword, so I can be as strong as Hercules.

(after a suggestion from me about what to do for Derek for Father's Day) No, Mom, no.  Listen.  I have the best idea.  I think Daddy wants a slingshot for Father's Day.

Luke says, "Sometimes all you can do is read."

In Need of a Boost?

I know I am.  Today has been the Monday of horror-movies fame.  Children arising early and grumpy from an interrupted night sleep to scream and complain and talk back and whine and hurt themselves and others all day.  At last they are both quiet in their beds...sleeping?  I don't care to risk looking in to confirm.

A day like today makes me feel like a bad parent.  I know there are hundreds of ways I could improve as a parent, but I truly feel like I give it my best shot everyday. Somehow, every time I feel a strategy is finally working, the children change and the strategy is no longer useful!  I can't change often enough to keep up with them and it's exhausting, trying.  Am I looking at parenting from the wrong perspective?  Perhaps I'm not meant to keep up with them?  Bah!  I want to feel sorry for myself for a little while: eat some chocolate, drink some wine, watch a movie.  Then you can give me advice :)  Lord knows I will take any advice I can get most days.

I really just need a smile. If you do too, keep reading:  We all Say.

L: Tomorrow morning, at dinner, can we split a pepsi?

S: Gang-goo Mommy (Thank-you).

L: That lunch can sure stuff a four year-old up!


Me: I always overeat when someone's screaming!

Me: Teaching the boys to clean up after themselves is such a big job that sometimes, to give myself a break, I clean up after them myself!

L: It's my hat, so I get to rule it!

(to demonstrate a pattern of Seamus's)
S: Yeah! Cowboy comin'!
S: Yeah! Stawbewwies (strawberries).
S: Yeah! Yinus good dog. (Linus)

(holding up 3 fingers) 
L: I'm on my fourth muffin!

L: I wish Seamus was born on June 26th so we would have the same birthday and he could go to preschool with me.  We would be twins and be best friends!

L: Seamus, superheroes don't have puppies!
Me: Why not?
L: Because superheroes have to leave their house everyday and the puppies would get into mischief!

D: We need to get you dressed little man.
L: No!
D: Why not?
L: I can't run as fast with clothes on!

Luke says:

Luke: I've outgrown these shoe-zen.
Me: What?
Luke: Shoe-zen means shoe in German.
Me: How do you know that?
Luke: Socken means sock so shoezen means shoe!  It's common sense, mom.

(humming to himself) Scary scary commentary.  Hairy beary fee fie fairy.

3, 5, 4 Roar! is what monsters say when they're sneaking up on someone.

Me: We are all tired and need naps.
Luke:  Not me!  I have the Horse Power.

All I Want for Christmas

Before Christmas, Luke and Derek went down the hill on the toboggan Derek used when  he was a kid.

And they made father/son snow angels.

After Christmas Luke and Papa raced each other down the hill: Papa on the old toboggan, Luke on his Christmas present.

"All I want for Christmas is a sled with a steering wheel and brakes!" says Luke.  And, thanks to Gramma and Papa, he got it!

Merry Christmas!

Although it doesn't make me proud, I'm going to tell the true story of this Christmas morning, so that we will remember what having kids is really like (it's not all as cute as the photos I post!), and so that those of you who read this will know that my life isn't all lollipops and twinkle lights.  This Christmas morning started out with the lighting of the Christmas candle, the reading of the Christmas story, a poem and a prayer.  It was lovely, and I really imagined that Christmas morning would be topped off with a jolly opening of presents, a family meal around the table, and a movie from somebody's stocking.  Well, as soon as the stockings were opened there arose shouts of, "But I wanted that!" and "I don't like this candy, I want a different candy!"  And I am sad to say, those shouts were from my very own son.  As you can imagine, gift opening was put on hold, a very angry four-year-old was sent to his room, and everyone heaved a big sigh.  This idea of a "perfect" Christmas morning is, apparently, not attainable until our children learn a very important lesson about gratefulness, thankfulness, graciousness, and humility.

So we very literally pushed the pause button on gifts, I attended to the pancakes, and Derek went downstairs and had a chat with Luke.  Seamus was just wandering around in his new hat, eating a caramel, totally oblivious to the challenges that accompany the rather arduous task of maturing gracefully.  Eventually Luke decided he was ready to be gracious, maybe if he didn't like the caramels he could still say thank-you and then give them to someone who appreciated them (don't worry, he discovered he liked them; we are in a phase where anything "new" or "different" is automatically labeled "bad"), he even began to understand that the What of the gift is not as important as the Why...I hope.

And so Luke decided he wanted to hand out the presents to his family, Seamus decided that collecting the paper and putting it in a box was more fun than opening presents, and eventually (much later than planned, and after much hungry crying from Seamus) we ate pancakes.  Seamus ate five.

I cannot know that my son learned exactly what I hoped to teach him.  But all we can do is try to explain, and live like we believe it.  Giving is wonderful, receiving is delightful, and giving and receiving graciously is truly a skill worth the effort of learning (and teaching). 

One of the lessons I have been struggling with lately is that Luke is his own person, very separate from me.  For the longest time he was part of me, then for a while he was an adorable accessory, now he is most certainly his own person - developing thoughts and ideas with no input from me.  I would have thought this would be obvious, but after so many years of, "Say buh-bye! Say Gramma! Go potty?" it's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that this little person will decide if he needs to go potty on his own.  He will call out what he's thinking during the church service when the moderator asks what she thought was a rhetorical question.  He will wear nothing but gitch around the house all day and ask for a knife to cut his pancakes at breakfast.  He will be himself, and I can only hope now that we will love each other enough that he will continue to want to be like me...and I can set a good example.

Merry Christmas!  May your Christmas enlighten your family relationships, as ours is doing, and promises to continue to do.

Luke Says:

(with a band-aid on his finger) I have to leave my finger flat like this forever - like until tomorrow!

You need a dog to clean your floors after we have dinner here because we are messy eaters, grandma.

We got a bulk-en board, Dad! (bulletin board)

I wish I had three hands.

Do I want some cheese? Well, you broke my arm! (twisted)

Seamus and I will go somewhere else while you go to the chiropractor so you don't have two handfuls along.  Like maybe we'll go to the grocery store or just...I don't know, visit Dad or something.