Lefty?

My Dependents

I am especially glad to have put together this gorgeous glass collection since I've spent so many days laying on the couch watching the colors move across the ceiling.  I haven't yet captured the light properly...I'll try again tomorrow.

Nanner nanner nanner, Californians!  Your sweet peas were done in May and mine were just beginning, but look at them now - at the end of October!  Five months of sweet peas!  I got sick of them there for a while and stopped picking them (I thought they were going to die soon) and they seemed to thrive on my neglect!  Sweet peas in October.  Who'd-a-thunk?

Yes it is eleven a.m. and we are still in our jammies.  No I haven't washed my hair in ... I can't remember when.  Yes, I puked up my breakfast.  No we do not know what's for lunch... or dinner.

My three dependents.

more glass lights on the wall.

Some might say that I'm the least dependable person in the house right now.  Those people would be right.  Still, some people depend on me for some things, which I can sometimes provide,... I hope.  One day it will be better.  I look at my friends whose children are older and I think, "One day I will be like them.  I will cook my family supper.  I will make them cookies for morning snack.  I will clean the shower before it gets scummy (although cleaning a scummy shower is actually much more satisfying).  I will watch them play as I sit and crochet, instead of listening to the sounds of trouble-makers while bent double over the toilet in the other room.  One day I will be a good wife and housekeeper.  One day I will be like my friends.  My kids just have to grow up a little (or a lot)."

Derek has been very supportive and helpful during my nausea and vomiting.  Luke will follow me into the bathroom and say, "Mommy are you sick?  You'll be okay.  Should I pat your back for a while?"  I really am surrounded  by the best boys in the world.  They don't ask for much.  But I still feel bad to be giving so little.  I remember what it felt like to get up and make blueberry muffins for breakfast, instead of putting cold cereal on the table and telling everyone to help themselves while I go lay on the couch.  We will get there again someday.  There is hope.  My dependents will find me dependable again someday.  For now it will have to be sufficient that for one tiny and still unknown dependent person I am giving everything everyday all the time.

Seuss

Luke recites stories to himself while he's playing.  I can't catch it on video because he's all of a sudden camera shy (could it be that I haven't taken his picture in so long that he's becoming self-conscious?).  But just as I was sitting here thinking what interesting anecdote to regale you with, Luke sits in the clean laundry with his race cars humming, "Bump bump bump, did you ever ride a seven hump wump?  Yes, I have.  Oh!  Wump Bump Hump Wump."  His other favorite story recently is, "Many large stones came rolling down the mountain.  I am not afraid! shouted Toad.  Frog leapt up the mountain and Toad came puffing up behind...."  He can recite the entire thing!  It's really amazing.  He loves stories.  We've mostly moved away from books and just recite our favorite stories now  which include:  The Billy Goats Gruff, The Big Hungry Bear Story (any story with a big hungry bear), and The Green Dinosaur Story (any story with a green dinosaur).  His favorite line from Billy Goats Gruff is, "The troll fell into the water with a mighty splash", which he says LOUDLY, "The tro' fewl into the water wif a MIGHTY 'PLASH!" 

He's pretty much my favorite person to spend time with.  Which is lucky really, since we're kind of stuck together.

My letter to the editor of Winkler Times (I hope they print it!)

And before you get too far, you should know that there is a baby in my womb.  I got to see his/her little heart beating and legs kicking.  I don't have copies of any of the images because the hospital is kind of pissy about details as you'll see from the following letter.  But thanks for your prayers, we can still use them as there does seem to be some blood pooling in my uterus and we're still not sure why.  Without further ado:

 

I had an upsetting experience at Boundary Trails Health Centre today.  I went in for an ultrasound scheduled because we were uncertain whether or not I'd had a miscarriage.  We had to wait several days for the appointment, and were handling the stress of uncertainty pretty well.  Still, by the time we got to the hospital my husband and I were very anxious and full of questions.  Finally the ultrasound technician called my name and we both stood up to have the procedure done that would finally tell us if we were mourning the loss of our little one, or continuing on the long road of pregnancy - and we were stopped short.  "Your husband will have to wait in the waiting room", said the technician, "It's hospital policy".  When we explained our dismay at being separated during such an important procedure the technician replied that she didn't make the rules but that it was "hospital policy", and if I wanted to argue about it I could go somewhere else for my ultrasound. 

She pulled out the sheet of paper that supposedly explained this "policy", yet nowhere on the page did it say anything about separating a mother and father during an ultrasound - in fact it was as vague as vague can be and seemed to be written for the specific purpose of allowing the hospital staff to make up rules as they went along without explaining themselves.  Knowing that I might have to wait weeks to get an ultrasound in Winnipeg, I did as the technician asked and followed a complete stranger into a dark room accompanied only by my fear that I would see an empty womb.  My husband sat alone far down the hall anxiously and helplessly chewing his fingernails like an expectant father of fifty years ago, waiting to hear that his wife just completed the most difficult task of her life without any help from her partner, husband, and helpmate. 

This entire scene is ridiculous.  Why are mothers and fathers being separated during what should be a shared experience?  Why is Boundary Trails adding to the stress of expectant mothers and fathers?  The only explanation the ultrasound technician could give me was that having another person in the room trying to look at the screen while the technician performed her tasks would be distracting and disruptive.  When did polite bedside manner go completely out the window - she can't just ask for silence while she works and allow the mother and father to support one another by silently holding hands?  I am disappointed in Boundary Trails Health Centre's decision to allow petty "policies" (I put it in quotes because I refer to a ridiculous, unwritten one) to be upheld without taking the patient's, and the patient's family's, peace of mind into consideration.  I intend to write a letter to the hospital and would appreciate it if anyone else who has had this disturbing experience would join me in making a LOUD objection, and write a letter of your own. 


-Laura A. Thiessen

photos at last

on the way home from the airport Luke tries on Grampa's assortment of hats.

the last rescued veggies were made into the most delicious turkey pot pie.  um - yum!

Like mother, like son.  When a mother goes around half-dressed and doesn't bother to do her hair, what can you expect from her precocious two-year old?

what are they making?  now that's a silly question.

Grampa and Luke go for walks to the park.

race cars need somewhere to crash...playdough!

sorry for the crazy eyes.  just had to wait too long for somebody to take the picture.

oh but you should see it.  it's a thing of beauty.  all cleaned up.  yucky old stuff that I never harvested tossed away - never to be seen or heard from again!  and tomorrow's task:  buy and plant the perfect apple tree (requirements: hardy, good for pies AND juice/cider, and preferably something that will grow several feet per year - we're in a hurry for apples).  All of this thanks to my Dad who claims, "I know nothing about gardening!...in Manitoba."

shamefully, ridiculously, lover-ly-ly good.

Well, it's been a very long time since I've posted.  I am sorry about that.  I'm sorry too that I haven't been taking very many pictures, so I don't even have much to share with you after all this time.  It's just been kind of a whirlwind.  First there was all the puking, nausea and exhaustion.  Now I've gone ten days at a stretch without puking and seem to have limited amounts of energy (which is a huge improvement), but my days have been full with Thanksgiving and a visit from my Dad!  My "baby-brain" has taken effect so my vocabulary is greatly reduced, but I do seem to have an abundance of Mary Poppins tunes floating through my head....which explains the title of this post, perhaps. 

I am finally up to blogging a bit, and now my computer is having issues and I can't upload any photos. So I will give you a different sort of image.

My to do list two weeks ago for one day:
get out of bed
eat breakfast/feed Luke breakfast
lay on the couch and read books to Luke
attempt to eat lunch
sleep while Luke naps
wake up and decide where to order dinner from
lay on the couch while everyone else eats
shower
go to bed

My to do list today:
get up, get dressed, get out the door by 9am
have a massage!
come home and read while Dad and Luke play in the basement
help Dad tear out my garden (and score several beautiful carrots and onions in the process!)
eat leftover thanksgiving dinner (party potatoes!!)
put luke down for a nap
go back outside and dig in the dirt
come inside and check my email for the first time in several days
read my book
play with Luke when he wakes up from his nap
watch Dad make turkey pot pie
eat turkey pot pie
help build a second compost bin
shower
read some stories with Luke
go to bed


See how much I can get done when I only have 10% of my usual energy?  I think that's a pretty impressive list....hopefully it continues to improve, and you will hear from me more regularly.

Radical Red Day

Solidarity with the kindergarten class at Lost Hills.