A happy corner

This Spring I have kept the seedlings to a minimum knowing that my time would be dominated by another tiny life.  But in the deep darks of March I couldn't resist putting some seeds in the dirt, and we now have 3 healthy cucumber starts, 5 bell peppers, and 3 birdhouse gourd starts (which are an experiment I'm really excited about!).

Last night I actually got outside and got my hands dirty - with Derek's help of course.  We transplanted our raspberries to drier, higher ground, and in the process had to move several rose bushes (which of course meant expanding another flower bed).  It was fun, but exhausting.  So today I am just sitting inside staring at my seedlings, looking forward to the day (it's not that far now!) when I will plop their little toes in the warm soil outside, and enjoying a well-deserved cup of raspberry tea.  Isn't that appropriate?

Easter: eggs and hunt

Dyeing eggs with Grammy.

On the hunt at Gramma and Papa's.

Some clues were up a little too high for short people...and written in English.  So Dad had to help out.  I just love the way Luke is standing in this photo, holding his jacket like an old man.

Nearing the bag of treats speeds on even the slowest hunter.

Due

39 Weeks

A woman reminded me the other day that we may not get something we really want if we don't pray for it.  So I began praying what seemed a little selfish, "Lord let this baby come while my Mom is here".  So far, no dice.  And the clock is ticking.  I keep reminding myself that even if the baby waits a week...or two...or three (!) from today, that today is a good day. 

Today I have a healthy kicking baby in my womb that I love, and whom I have the exciting chance to prepare for and look forward to meeting.  Today my Mom is here and we sat in the sunshine on the deck and watched Luke pile sand in the trailer of his John Deer tractor.  Today I pulled a few weeds out from around my peonies which are coming up.  Today I went for a long walk and counted 17 geese flying North.  Today we will BBQ salmon and chicken for dinner - delicious.  Today is here.  Tomorrow will come eventually.  And so will baby.
But Lord, hear my prayer!

Haircuts all around

And aren't they looking sharp?

When Derek came home Luke asked, Dad, isn't Linus handsome?

And the answer Derek gave was, I suppose you could say that.

Which means, Wow, he sure does!

Good Company

Good company puts up with 18 hours of travel without complaining and then stays up half the night with an excited little boy who won't sleep, takes him to the toilet whenever he asks (and sometimes when he doesn't), gets woken up by a 2-foot bouncing munchkin at 6:30 am to read endless stories (the same one over and over and over), climbs into the most awkward positions to retrieve an unwilling (read: screaming and crying) boy from the "pirate ball pit", lets a 2-year old help clean out the fridge (!), cleans out the fridge (!), does dishes, goes on what's suggested as a "nice walk"only to come home with snot frozen onto her face because we used all the kleenex on the boy, makes the hugest batch of bran muffin batter in the history of muffins, and sits in the backseat because she's the little boy's favorite person in the world.  And we still have the whole week ahead of us!

The End of the Week

Tomorrow is officially the end of this week.  We've said good-bye to a dear little baby, and tonight we say hello to a visitor from far away.  The camera has come out of it's bag for very little because these are days when I have felt powerfully that I need to sit in the moment and not behind the lens.

After meeting baby Wyatt on Tuesday afternoon I sat in the sun on my back porch and watched my dog "protect our airspace" as my Mom's friend says.  I contemplated babies.  I contemplated what it means to be alive.  And those two thoughts and all they entail so overwhelmed me that even when my son fell comically face down in the mud, or twelve little birds lined up front to back to front on the deck railing, or the sun shone so that I stood outside in barefeet and short sleeves, I could not bring myself to get out my camera.

So this week you are left with words, words words.

And we are left to say good-byes.  

And hellos.

Such joy in a meeting.  Such sorrow in parting.

New Inspiration

Smitten Kitchen

making me hungry.......

to remember

“Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.”

-Alice M. Swaim

38 weeks

 

Week 38 lies ahead and looks to me as though it will be the most difficult week so far.

One of my good friends is being induced tomorrow and her baby is not expected to live much more than a few hours at most.  The funeral is planned for the end of the week.  Being pregnant at the same time, and her support during my struggle to conceive has been very special and the loss of her baby boy after a full 40 weeks is a painful journey.  I've been feeling sad and a little out of it all day today just knowing what the week ahead holds.

The joy that this week holds also confuses my system of emotions.  My Mom comes on Friday and is here for her Spring Break, and the WBS annual meetings in Winnipeg are next weekend which is always a fun time with family and taking Luke to the pool.  Then there's my usual doctor appointment this week, with the optimism of last Friday's ultrasound still hanging in the air.  Our baby measured approximately 6lb 13oz on the ultrasound (plus or minus a pound), even though I'm measuring small and haven't gained any weight in 3 or 4 weeks.  I look forward to my doctor's visits and hearing the baby's heartbeat.  

Yet this week we will hear it having just said good-bye to another tiny heartbeat that we so anticipated.  

Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love.  ~George Eliot

You Drive Me Nuts

Bubble Beard

What I saw when I checked on the small, constant yell, "Help! Help! Help!"  Yes, that is our compost bin.

My third garden box!  Not placed, leveled or filled, but built!

Our dinner conversation the other night went something like this:

Luke swung one leg down to the floor and looked up at me mischievously waiting for me to reprimand him.  I complied,
Laura:  Luke you haven't been excused.  Sit nicely in your chair.
Luke: No sanks.
Laura: If you can't sit in your chair nicely and have a meal with the entire family then you will have to have a swat on the bum.
Luke: Swats hurt.
Luke proceeds to slide further and further out of his chair and finally turns so his head is hanging over one side of the chair and his bum is facing me.
Laura:  You are making this far too easy.  I am going to swat your little bum if it's in my face like that.  Sit nicely at the table, please.
I tap his bum gently and half-laughing before saying sternly
Laura:  That's enough.  Up you get.
Finally Luke sits up with a sigh and says,
Luke:  You are driving me nuts when you swat my bum, Mom.

Not Quite There

The answer to most questions these days is, "I'm/We're not quite there". 

"When's your due date?"
"Is Luke potty-trained?"
"Are you feeling better?"
"Do you have a hospital bag packed?"
"Do you have names decided on for baby?"
"Are you ready?"

37 Weeks.
Still not quite there.

Luke takes off, and Luke's first crash

Sorry for all the wind noise.  I didn't realize it was happening while I was videoing.

Notice Luke saying, "Yeah, it sure is warm out here," to his neighbors who don't speak any English.  Just after this video one of the neighbor boys came running down the driveway kicking a soccer ball and when Luke got in front of it to kick it back to the boy the little twerp ran up and pushed him over.  

Luke kept saying, "I want to play with you!" and one of the older children felt she needed to explain the other little boy's rudeness and said, "He just doesn't know Luke".  Well, you can imagine I felt like chucking that obnoxious, rude, nasty little kid in a snowbank face first (and that would hurt these days because the snow is crustified).   I restrained myself.  Barely.